No Freedom

A person to talk to

2008-01-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

Ive found a new friend in someone. She went through something similar to wat i went through. She knew exactly how i felt. Shes absoulutely great. Thank god for people like this (if there is a god at all) cause without her i wouldnt have ever got over the break up. And to my EX whos spreading rumors that im a stalker: FUCK YOU AND FUCK EVERYTHING THAT YOU STAND FOR!!!

We the suicides

2008-01-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

Wat people dont understand about teen suicide....... They automatically label us as emo, goth, or watever the fuck they call us. They dont understand that were fucking hurting on the inside. We are hurt day in and day out. So wat if we want to relieve our selves of the emotional pain and stress. Our lives are ours and we can take them whenever we damn well please. You dont understand us, and dont attempt to. Because unless you can feel EXACTLY wat we feel you wont fucking know. Were dieing spiritually. Weve lost the will to live. Our lives mean nothing to us anymore. Just because you want to continue to live in this SHITHOLE doesnt mean we have to. we see suicide as the only way to permenantly fix things. LET US BE US DAMMIT!!!

Over!!!

2007-12-31T21:56:00.000-08:00

the fight between me and my girlfriend is almost over. im just waiting for her overly sensitive feminine feelings to subside. but just in case she acts up again, im gonna keep in contact with that asian chick. She looks like a freak :)

New Years

2007-12-31T21:19:00.000-08:00

Well i called my girlfriend a minute after the clock struck 12. I heard in the backround these words from her very mouth "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS" im not sure if its gonna last too long between us. So, in the meantime, im gonna keep a lookout for another potential girlfriend. Someone who actually gives a fuck about me.

Fucking Annoying

2007-12-31T17:34:00.001-08:00

the one time since break began that i tried to show a gesture of niceness towards my girlfriend my FUCKING annoying ass brother and sister had to go and FUCK IT ALL UP. they need to mind theyre own goddamn business. i mean comon, get the fuck off of my back. dont you have your own life to fuck up?

Down

2007-12-31T16:11:00.000-08:00

i guess i wrote all that other stuff out of anger. Ive given it some thought and i realize i dont want to think of her as some plaything. But the way she wants the realtionship to be...... youd think she wants me to think of her as a plaything. Because face it, if she keeps doing the same thing shes doing thats gonna be all we are to eachother. Maybe i have to try hard without actually trying hard. Do the exact opposite of what ive been doing. She doesnt want me to care about her as much as i have been. I guess i just have to be my own person. the way i was before we started going out. i have to find myself again. shes a heartbreaker. ill just act normally. i hav to treat her more like a friend while at the same time make out with her every now and then. I believe the proper term is "Friends with Benefits". Because that is exactly how shes been treating me. Yep, thats the game plan for now. Maybe someday she will realize the error of her ways. Maybe shell actually get around to missing me, maybe shell want me to love her, and maybe shell WANT to love me back. But im not getting my hopes up. Because the chances of that happening are a million to one. i guess ill call her for new years if i get the chance. I know she wont pick up. ill just leave a message. I am in misery. Its raining on the inside of me. Im dieing spiritually. But i cant allow myself to show this. I have to put on a mask. Hide my inner suffering. Fake happiness. Watever it takes to not truely show that i am hurting on the inside.

Cold Heart

2007-12-31T07:24:00.000-08:00

that BITCH has turned me into one cold-hearted mother fucker. Well, that and slipknot. You see, wat i think about girls: They are not worth the fucking trouble. Theyre too god damn sensitive. Sure, be nice to em, do nice things for em, but in the end day theyre nothing but a bunch of BITTER FUCKING BITCHES!!!! so now i view them as nothing but something for me to FUCK. they are FUCK TOYS. no sense in getting connected. All i want is more pussy. And eventually, if my girlfriend is not giving me enough of wat i want, i will leave her for a more hornier bitch that actually wants more cock in her life!!!!

Im going to touch her EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-31T00:12:00.001-08:00

hopefully this bullshit with my girlfriend has ended. i guess she just wants me to be more sexual. perhaps i should stick something inside her to make her scream for me. needless to say, im definately going to make out with her as soon as she walks into the room at school. ive gotta make her panties wet for me. oh yea, look out girl, your gonna get FONDLED!!!

Finally

2007-12-30T18:50:00.000-08:00

me and my girlfriend got into it again. I won. i think i just need to be a bit more demanding. im gonna touch her when i wanna touch her. and im gonna make out with her when i wanna make out with her. fuck wat she says or feels. the bitch likes to be bossed around lol.

Ok

2007-12-30T16:33:00.001-08:00

Well she responded. And she acts like i totally NEED her in my life. However, she couldnt be farthur from the truth. Ill show her better than i can tell her. So we arent breaking up, at least i think we arent. Man that bioforce thing really works lol :)

Congrats steelers

2007-12-30T16:23:00.002-08:00

YALL JUST GOT YALL ASSES KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT. SERVES YOU RIGHT BIATCHES!!

Fuck it

2007-12-30T13:43:00.000-08:00

im tired of trying to fix things with her bitch ass. Its always me doing all of the work. well FUCK THAT!!!! she has my number and my myspace page. if she wants she can write or call me as far as im concerned if she doesnt make any effort to contact me its fuckin over!!

I AM SICK OF THIS

2007-12-30T13:24:00.000-08:00

i sent messages to my girlfriend. i was attempting to move past the argument. However, she did not respond. She indeed read the messages but DIDNT RESPOND. I dont know what the fuck her problem is with me. Maybe she wants to break up or something. Ive movin on past the problem and she fucking hasnt. Its really pissing me of. And to top it all off, she turned her FUCKING PHONE OFF!!! im not doing anything fucking wrong. Shes just being the BITTER BITCH that she usually is. What the fuck am I supposed to do about her messed up vision of a relationship?

This morning

2007-12-30T09:34:00.000-08:00

This morning my mom saw me on the computer and she got mad. This led to my parents talking about how she never calls and about how they think shes cheating on me. But, i know better. Shes not cheating, at least i think shes not. Although the way she presents herself to me and her idea of a relationship is pretty messed up, i like her anyways. I mean, she makes me feel sad on a constant basis when she doesnt answer, or when she walks off. She explained to me yesterday about why she does these things. And the reasons seemed legit. But i know there has got to be more than wat shes leading me to believe. Im keepin a close lookout. Because this has got to be the WIERDEST relationship since the dawn of time. Its as if she doesnt even like me.......

Yes!!!!

2007-12-29T22:31:00.000-08:00

i dont have to pay her 20 bucks after all!! shes not as bitter as i thought she was

Flyleaf

2007-12-29T21:59:00.000-08:00

Flyleaf is one of the most amazing bands EVER. Lacey Mosley sounds like an angel. Id like to say one thing to the band, and especially lacey, and that is KEEP ROCKIN FOR GOD!!! :)

EHH

2007-12-29T21:51:00.001-08:00

Damn, she didnt say wat i wanted her to say

Day of Reckoning

2007-12-29T21:35:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago i posted a bulletin on myspace about how much of a bad girlfriend my girlfriend was. needless to say we got into an argument. i saved the relationship, lets just hope she doesnt dump me for loosing her book lol. I also got this bioforce exercise system. its pretty cool. and she didnt dump me. i just have to figure out how to come up with 30 dollars by the end of this grading period. actually girlfriends money + chocolate money comes out to about 50 dollars. man i am soooooo screwed lol. if she were a less bitter girlfriend she would respond "You dont have to pay me, you already got me an 80 dollar gift honey". Unfortunately, the world is not a gigantic walgreens store :)